It’s been a while, I know, but I’ve had a lot going on lately. I have an incredible boyfriend, let’s start with that. There is no doubt in my mind that we are going places.
Summer semester at school went alright. There were a lot of mornings that I had to drag myself out of bed, and then there were a lot that I just didn’t at all. It was rough working till ten every single night on top of that.
I miss my best friend so much that I don’t think there is a single person on this earth that could comprehend this feeling. I still feel absolutely alone in this town, even though I have him. I still don’t have anyone else. And that is a terrible feeling. I found myself worrying about Jonathan again the past couple of weeks. And I’m sure Cord is tired of hearing about it. But I just seem to start thinking about jonathan every time I find myself alone. But I swear it’s getting better. It makes me feel better knowing that he’s moving on with his life. That he’s not trying to overdose on a daily basis anymore. I personally don’t think any single person on this planet is worth taking your life for. Especially myself.
For some reason I don’t know why I can’t get past him though. His family took me in as their own. And that was really the first sense of family I ever really had. I had never really experienced that feeling of togetherness. And I guess I just miss them. In the family sort of way. Same goes for him. And I guess that’s another one of the wonderful things about Cord, is he actually understands that. And he always knows how to make me feel better and make me forget why I was ever down to begin with.
I think I’m going to give up on the whole nursing thing in school and maybe switch over to dental hygiene. At least my family will still be supportive of that. Not that I’m getting any support. I don’t know when I got stuck with all of my college expenses after my dad always swore he would send me to college.
My mom isn’t doing very good lately. I’m afraid she might be drinking again, even though she swears she isn’t. She had an anxiety attack at work the other day and was rushed off to the hospital. And I really just don’t think I can take any more of this.
This whole entry is lame. I’m not good at updates that cover a long span of time.
I’m going to go play my ps3 until Cord gets here.
